9.

Here it go again,

Endless problem on my end.

Doubts and insecurities,

Demons revived to chase me.

Wound that was once healed,
relapse again.
Acting crazy to stop the pain,
negativity chose to stay.

It's the same cycle,

I'm back here at the gate of hell.

Feelings like this,

Worthless and shits.

Constant battles,

Daily struggles.

Tired of all the fights.

Am I worth it?

Am I sane?

Time to start to appreciate.

For all the years of self-abuse,

Mentally draining me to ruin.

I want to fix things up,
for all the years I tormented myself.
To mend the broken pieces,
to reshape myself.

I call a truce,

With all my might.

Demons please,

I'm tired of fights...

8.

Haunted pasts,

Haunted nights,

When it be overcome?

First few times,

we said Hi,

Then come after,

we had fights.

Side by side,

hands apart.

We no longer,

have a start.

I told you once,

I told you twice,

There's no faking,

I'm all done.

Thought you knew,

Thought you felt.

Think it's just a one-sided stuff.

Who's to blame,

but myself.

Think it could've happened

but ended up a bluff.

No regrets,

No looking back.

At least I tried,

I'm no longer sad.

You taught me things,

that I've never knew.

Learnt so much,

thanks to you.

The time has come,

for me to leave.

Think it's all about 

fate and destiny. 

Bet it'll hurt,

Bet I'll still cry.

But it was worth my time. 

Thank you. 

7.

I pray to lord, 

To keep me sane.

So he did,

He sent me friends.

To who I owe for all the deeds,

That's making me a better me .

I sit by and reflect,

And ask who it should be that I shall thank.

To my family,

And all my friends,

I thank you all for being there.

From the darkest night,

To the brightest noon.

You stayed till I'm better,

The companionships worked like wonder.

I thank you once,

And then twice,

Not forgetting all the times.

I'm grateful and so touched.

To closed ones who gave me a nudge.

They set me down,

And talk me sense.

Walked me out,

Of this scaryland.

Tough life it is,

That I'm still living

But it doesn't worry me the very least,

I know there's a saying,

For all tough life,

Makes tough people.

I'll gladly say,

I'm better now.

But not the best,

I've yet to be. 

Watch me,

I shall succeed. 

6.

So many times,

I've tried living life.

So many times,

I've envy those guys.

To live so freely,

To have no worries,

To drink and party,

The rest is blurry.

They say jealousy makes you hate,

But to me,

it is but a mirror,

that reflects your personalities.

How life can be so different,

For each individuals.

How life can be so daunting,

On this young teen.

Not everyone understands,

The anxiety that she faces.

To have no support,

To have literally nothing, 

She only has herself,

And no one else.

It's such a pity,

Things didn't turn out well.

Yet, time and time again.

She escapes from negativity.

In turn,

She tried to be grateful.

Not knowing what lies ahead, 

And what lies beyond.

Is so scary,

She's scared that she'll always be scorned.

Having to build your own empire,

Slowly from scratch.

It's no easy feat,

I can say that.

I have anxieties,

I am insecure,

Yet, 

I try to pursue what I've always set out to do.

I need a little push,

God please.

Give me the strength,

To brave through this storm.

Time has come for changes,

What lies ahead,

Is integrated with the decisions I'll make.

5.

You don't know,
How much the pain,
Caused me to tear every night.

Just wait,
Endure the pain,
It's gonna be okay.

Little did you know,
How I'm breaking,
When you're fast asleep.

I'm still hurt
By the memories
Timeless heartache

Still trying
To pick myself back up
Piece by piece

All the mistakes,
drowning me
I'll wait,
Just wait.

Ready to forgive,
Little did I know,
I need a little more time.

I'm sorry
Forgive me